Those Chafing Nights

Last week I found myself explaining to MW what chafing was, as he was digging around in his pants, I wondered if he had some irritation going on. He admitted, that yes, his drawers were causing some unnecessary rubbing action.

Since explaining how painful chafing could be to him, I thought MW would avoid chafing at all costs.

I was wrong.

After a week of 'horrible sex', he is desperately ready to take matters into his own hands, with or without lotion. I advised this would literally be rough and advised against it, to which he responded, "I'll use my spit or tears of unhappiness."

MW is a lot of things, being resourceful tops the list.

He asked, 'But, what do I do from here? How do I tell her she's not good in bed?'

The easy answer: you don't. You just discontinue sex with her. If that seems too abrupt an action, guidance is always an option. However, if you think the sex is horrible, but she thinks the sex is great, there is something amiss, no? If MW can't find the groove, then he is looking at many more chafe-filled nights.

You can get bad sex from several places. One night stands. Drunken mistakes. Anyone eager to please, which come summertime those aren't too hard to find.

So my question to MW is, if the communication is suffering plus the sex is less than remarkable, in what world does that make for a healthy and happy relationship? Seems a bit too hard if you ask me.

Spring Training

MW is always trying to accuse me of being a cock block. Impossible. One, there has to be someone that I'm blocking and not some hypothetical situation or person and two, just because you're not getting any doesn't mean I'm blocking.

Trust that MW does find his fair share of booty, with no help (or hindering) from me. And yet, in giving my honest opinion, I am looked to as an obstacle. I told MW that if anything, I'm helping him out. I'm conditioning him, so to speak, for future encounters. Yes, there are easy girls out there. However, those girls are one and done. Girls that turn into five-stage clingers.

Be careful what you wish for, MW.

Now a smart chick isn't going to fall under MW's spell quite so easily. In fact, she may have some tricks up her own sleeve that MW won't see coming. It's a common mistake made by fellas similar to MW. The fact that the player often times gets played. And for what? Sheer laziness! I want to make sure he's on his game. Able to handle the heat. Make him quicker than the average MW, so he can get the most out of his sexcapades. I'm only here to help.

He calls it cock blocking. I call it spring training.

He Misses You

Don't be fooled young ladies when MW says he misses you. He may miss you, but not MISS you. He may miss you because he's bored or because he wants to get laid or because he just wants to see you get all giddy crazy over the fact that he said he misses you.

MW says, "I can miss Jesus, doesn't mean I want to see him."

Typically, when you utter the words 'miss you' to someone, it's because you are sad that you are not with them. For MW, it means about as much as a hello, how ya doin'?

Does he miss you?

If he's not at the present time with you, trust me, he doesn't care.

Here we go...

My interest never wanes from what exactly goes on in the male mind. Whether I agree, disagree or am indifferent, I am always open to learn new things about their way of thinking.

HOWEVER, this sense of curiosity is detected by males far and wide, who choose me to share their dirty secrets with, in every grotesque, TMI, shocking detail.

Lucky me.

What better way to educate the rest of the female population, then to take the thoughts directly from the source and put them into print. So with permission and against my advisement, my friend, MW is going to let not only me, but all of you into his world of sex, drama, and the sheer shamelessness he embraces.

Are you ready?